Several things stuck out to me in the 4th chapter of the awesome book of Deuteronomy and really resonated truth in me, as I was even able to see in my life how God's character has revealed itself, that unchanging character that has reigned for all of time, both thousands of years ago and today.
First: "For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as the LORD our God is to us, whenever we call upon him? ... Only take care, and keep your soul diligently, lest you forget the things that your eyes have seen, and lest they depart from your heart all the days of your life. Make them known to your children and your children's children..." (v. 7, 9)
Is God so close to me whenever I call upon him? Maybe he was close to Israel, or Moses, but to think that he is similarly close to me is something else entirely.
No, James. Draw near to me, and I will draw near to you.
Wow! Okay, then, now where am I? Well let's take a moment to look back at my life, lest I forget the things that my eyes have seen, and lest they depart from my heart. I have not seen a sea part, water come from a rock, or food raining down from heaven, but I have been delivered into a safe childhood, loving family, lasting friends, and an unshakable faith in God.
I haven't seen a burning bush, but I have heard and felt a distinct calling to both deliver people and to bring peace into their lives. I've seen supernatural, physical healing where some other force penetrated this world and worked joints and muscles into their proper place.
I never saw a mountain shake and tremble with fear, but I have felt a distinctly loving and powerful person tickle me deep inside my flesh, leaving me with no other option but to laugh! Laugh and shake my head, wondering what I did to deserve God's attention.
And time would fail for me to mention that he is a jealous God, and how he has demonstrated that to me, or even the deep and mystical word, covenant, which he has promised to never forget, because of his mercy.
Please read Deuteronomy 4 and let God show you what he has done for you, and how his heart is jealous for you, for your attention and devotion. He is a consuming fire, so whatever you give him he will take. You may lose something precious, like a falsity you have clung to, but it will be worth it, I promise. Above anything I have experienced in my short life so far, I have felt fulfillment, joy, and peace. And those don't rust or become obsolete.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Rollin' Along
Here we are in Penang, Malaysia! After lots and lots of travelling, we arrived on this island of food perfection. Seriously, it's awesome. There's a small shop a stone's throw away and I've systematically worked my way down the list of fried rice meals. I'm taking them two at a time (still under budget!) and have had the privilege of trying Kam Heong, Baracava, and Satay dishes... all of which I would not have tried normally, and so would not have found tastes unimaginably good! I'm at 12 and 13 next, and if I make it to the end of the list, number 16 is Ham with Raisin Fried Rice!
Besides food, we've done a bit of ministry. It feels disjointed because we left right after we got here for a few days. Anyway, we did a short Christmas skit at an orphanage's Christmas party. The theme was God as a good Father who loves his children, and you can be his children! (You see, orphans don't have fathers). We visited that same group the next day at their home and played with them for hours! I performed countless rocketships, played tag, did more rocketships, played hide and seek, and rested to let the sweating slow down a bit.
As a staff member of this 13-person team, I find lots of joy through comments like, "I can't believe we're in Asia!" "It's amazing to be here," and "I've never done that before." I get to encourage people to step out, to take responsibility and make something happen, while being challenged to be willing to do the things I'm asking, like approaching taxi drivers for a survey about HIV/AIDS, or praying for the injured and sick at the hospital. (A woman's arm was healed before us!)
We've seen lots of fruit so far, including a man being undeniably led to Christ. God is meeting those expectations I believed in while in the comfort of Vancouver.
Outreach has lots of its own little things you don't experience otherwise. Besides the vast variety of food, there's the unpredictable "sidewalks," the 6-ft. monitor lizard in the sewer beneath, and comments such as, "Can we take a picture with you? We do not see giant men like you."
This is my favorite outreach so far, since God has equipped me more thoroughly, and I am more wise to do the things that bring life and sustain me, like reading, writing, praying, journaling, and spending time in my nothing box. :-)
In a week we head north to Thailand for two months!
Besides food, we've done a bit of ministry. It feels disjointed because we left right after we got here for a few days. Anyway, we did a short Christmas skit at an orphanage's Christmas party. The theme was God as a good Father who loves his children, and you can be his children! (You see, orphans don't have fathers). We visited that same group the next day at their home and played with them for hours! I performed countless rocketships, played tag, did more rocketships, played hide and seek, and rested to let the sweating slow down a bit.
 |
| Rocketships! |
As a staff member of this 13-person team, I find lots of joy through comments like, "I can't believe we're in Asia!" "It's amazing to be here," and "I've never done that before." I get to encourage people to step out, to take responsibility and make something happen, while being challenged to be willing to do the things I'm asking, like approaching taxi drivers for a survey about HIV/AIDS, or praying for the injured and sick at the hospital. (A woman's arm was healed before us!)
We've seen lots of fruit so far, including a man being undeniably led to Christ. God is meeting those expectations I believed in while in the comfort of Vancouver.
Outreach has lots of its own little things you don't experience otherwise. Besides the vast variety of food, there's the unpredictable "sidewalks," the 6-ft. monitor lizard in the sewer beneath, and comments such as, "Can we take a picture with you? We do not see giant men like you."
 |
| Fire-breathing dragon |
This is my favorite outreach so far, since God has equipped me more thoroughly, and I am more wise to do the things that bring life and sustain me, like reading, writing, praying, journaling, and spending time in my nothing box. :-)
In a week we head north to Thailand for two months!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Away We Go! But not before a quick story...
It's time to leave this hemisphere! From this Western one to the Eastern one, where lots of things are different!
Blogs often seem to be about lessons learned from failures, or making the best of something after you've messed it up. I want to tell a quick story where I can humbly say I did the right thing, without messing up. If it's not interesting or dramatic, I'm sorry.
Just a few weeks ago I needed about 3500 dollars for a 3-month outreach. I had enough to pay my November rent and then be down to about 200 (which I was hoping to keep in savings). I had a choice; I could either worry and bite my nails until God provided it all, and then have joy and peace and celebrate. Or, I could have joy and peace and celebrate until God provided all the finances, and then have joy and peace and celebrate after he provided the finances... This time, I chose wisely.
So, I sent out my support e-mail and blog and said something like, "I am sure God will provide the funds. If you want to be involved in this and claim ownership in what God's doing through us, you can pray or donate money.
:-)"
:-)"
So this is the part of the story where I somehow lost faith in the ensuing weeks, but God still provided. However, amazingly, I didn't! No plot twist here; I stuck to the plan and didn't worry. I honestly had peace and, when praying for finances, didn't pray with desperation or beg with doubt.
I am so grateful and inexpressibly humbled by the generosity of my family and friends! People gave out of their hearts, out of their little; you saw a need in the Kingdom and acted. I don't really know how it happened. There was almost no activity with the amount that I still needed until, all at once, 700 dollars here, 300 there, a steady flow of 50, 65, 90, 100 dollars started pouring in! And now, I virtually need nothing! I have maybe 200 that I still need in a month or two, but my regular support should cover that just fine. So I'm good to go!
God, family, and friends: thank you! God provided for this trip - it's meant to be. My expectations of God in the last few weeks were met; my expectations of miracles, of power, and transformation in the next 12 weeks be met in a whole new, surprising and life-giving way, but with the same "assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Intimacy
I want intimacy with someone. Someone to hold hands with, hug often, sit next to, talk to about little things, think about during the day, and have inside jokes with. I don't have that person, and it's frustrating just once in a while...
"James. I live inside you! I listen to everything you say. I know what you think about. In fact, I will be involved in your daily life as much as you want me to be. Eat my flesh and drink my blood."
How's that for intimacy?
...
This song has changed me. (Thanks sis)
"James. I live inside you! I listen to everything you say. I know what you think about. In fact, I will be involved in your daily life as much as you want me to be. Eat my flesh and drink my blood."
How's that for intimacy?
...
This song has changed me. (Thanks sis)
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Outreach to Thailand and Malaysia!
Outreach!!!
I'm so excited to say that I'm on a team of 13 going to Thailand and Malaysia on a mission trip for a total of three months! We leave December 5th, will spend one month in Penang, Malaysia, and then two months in Thailand (in Pattaya and Nangbualumphu).
As far as Penang, Malaysia, the details aren't totally worked out, but it will probably include spending time at a homeless drop-in shelter, a 24-hour prayer center, and helping people who have a ministry with the prostitutes there.
As far as Thailand, God spoke to us about children, so we're working at a children's center in Pattaya (central/southern Thailand). We're going to use our musical talents to spread the gospel as well.
As staff of the mission trip, one of our goals is to set up many opportunities for the students to share their faith and to spread the gospel through works of love. Our team represents the USA, Scotland, Finland, Switzerland, South Africa, Brazil, and Australia!
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age,"
So we're going out in the authority that Christ gave us, the same authority that he used to do his mighty works, expecting mighty, world-changing things, trusting that, "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father."
If you would like to be a part of this, pray for us: (the staff) Me, Heidi, Mike and Jessi, and their two boys Kael and Owen, and (the students) Hugo, Chloe, Stefan, Esther, Linda, Michi, and Meg. Another way to be a part of this is to help fund the journey financially.
If you're from the U.S. of A., you can send money to
I'm so excited to say that I'm on a team of 13 going to Thailand and Malaysia on a mission trip for a total of three months! We leave December 5th, will spend one month in Penang, Malaysia, and then two months in Thailand (in Pattaya and Nangbualumphu).
As far as Penang, Malaysia, the details aren't totally worked out, but it will probably include spending time at a homeless drop-in shelter, a 24-hour prayer center, and helping people who have a ministry with the prostitutes there.
As far as Thailand, God spoke to us about children, so we're working at a children's center in Pattaya (central/southern Thailand). We're going to use our musical talents to spread the gospel as well.
As staff of the mission trip, one of our goals is to set up many opportunities for the students to share their faith and to spread the gospel through works of love. Our team represents the USA, Scotland, Finland, Switzerland, South Africa, Brazil, and Australia!
 |
| The team! |
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age,"
So we're going out in the authority that Christ gave us, the same authority that he used to do his mighty works, expecting mighty, world-changing things, trusting that, "Truly, truly, I say to you, whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do; and greater works than these will he do, because I am going to the Father."
If you would like to be a part of this, pray for us: (the staff) Me, Heidi, Mike and Jessi, and their two boys Kael and Owen, and (the students) Hugo, Chloe, Stefan, Esther, Linda, Michi, and Meg. Another way to be a part of this is to help fund the journey financially.
If you're from the U.S. of A., you can send money to
YWAM
PO Box 3000,
Garden Valley, TX, 75771-3000
If you're from Canada, you can send money to
Project Funding
PO Box 57100 Vancouver, BC
V5K 1Z0
If you don't need a tax receipt, you can send electronically
Go to Paypal
I feel strongly that the Lord will provide all the money, but if you want to claim ownership in what God will do through us, this is how you can give. :-) Peace to all of you who reads!
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Wow!
Wow. So this Discipleship Training School has been one of the best things for me. Even as a staff member, simply being present for the lectures has caused so much thought and heart-change.
Being in a place of leadership, too, has helped me grow in maturity and the challenge that people are watching how I walk is sobering. Too long had I worked in ministry and only haphazardly pursued a friendship with God. "Too long" was actually only 9 months of being on staff, but far too much time to only be focused on looking after numero uno. In a house of a dozen men, there's more motivation to get up early and have a quiet time. Both because it sets a good example, and also because Lord knows I need it.
 |
| Nexia Outreach leaders From left - Jessi, Heidi, Me, Mike |
The lecture phase is over half over now! Outreach is coming up fast, and I'll update you all on that soon. But I wanted to say that I'm growing and changing, that the couple dozen other people in this community are growing and changing to be more like Jesus. It is largely due to prayer and intentional acts. That's a decent amount of what we do - pray, and intentionally seek ways to encourage growth. By "growth" I'm implying a personal, passionate relationship with Jesus, the Savior, and the journey that inevitably accompanies being best friends with the holiest Being in the universe.
I find so much joy in this! It's work with reward and a sense of fulfillment I couldn't find almost anywhere else. The most significant thing that's happened to me recently is a deeper love for Jesus. I'm finding that, more and more, he's the apple of my eye.
Anyway, here's a poem I wrote during worship yesterday.
Jesus!
Saying your name makes me smile inside
Jesus!
Your
love and your grace make me lighter in stride
Jesus!
There
is no other name that touches my soul
Jesus!
There’s no other one who makes me feel whole
I see your
beauty throughout my days
Your peace
and joy clear away the haze
I wave
goodbye to fear, doubt and strife, cause
To know you,
God, is eternal life
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Treasure Hunt
A Treasure Hunt is where a small team prays together for signs, for clues, and then tries to find them, looking to God to provide these people he's highlighted.
A couple weeks ago, these are some of the clues we received:
Hugo - A girl sitting down at Nanaimo park. A worker at the Thai Restaurant on Hastings St.
James - Checkered shirt. Orange.
Linda - Purple and yellow stripes. Children's section at the library.
And these are the things that happened:
The girl sitting at Nanaimo park was talking on her phone. After 10 minutes we started to leave and I saw a guy in an orange shirt. I was outgoingly rejected, though!Then the checkered shirt lady (Linda recognized her earlier) rejected prayer as well, followed by an elderly cycling lady who parked for a moment at the closed library, only to shortly after, shaking her head at me.
Linda then prayed for 2 girls together, one wearing a purple jacket and the other a yellow, and they were open to it! This was in front of the children's section of the library. Hugo had to go to the bank where I spoke to an Irish lady selling Visa cards inside the door. Naomi said we could pray for her grand-dad, Patty. No specifics, but we said, "okay," and prayed after leaving the bank. Then, guess who we saw!The lady from the park! She was off her phone, now, and Linda stopped her, told the whole story, and then asked if she wanted prayer. She was excited to say, "Yes, for me and my boyfriend." So Linda prayed.
Then we went to the Thai Food place, where the owner said her family was suffering from the flooding in Thailand. At the end, Hugo and I offered prayer to Gao, and she said, "I'm Buddhist, so I don't know." So Hugo said, "Okay, I pray at home."
Just another day in the Discipleship Training School.
A couple weeks ago, these are some of the clues we received:
Hugo - A girl sitting down at Nanaimo park. A worker at the Thai Restaurant on Hastings St.
James - Checkered shirt. Orange.
Linda - Purple and yellow stripes. Children's section at the library.
And these are the things that happened:
The girl sitting at Nanaimo park was talking on her phone. After 10 minutes we started to leave and I saw a guy in an orange shirt. I was outgoingly rejected, though!Then the checkered shirt lady (Linda recognized her earlier) rejected prayer as well, followed by an elderly cycling lady who parked for a moment at the closed library, only to shortly after, shaking her head at me.
Linda then prayed for 2 girls together, one wearing a purple jacket and the other a yellow, and they were open to it! This was in front of the children's section of the library. Hugo had to go to the bank where I spoke to an Irish lady selling Visa cards inside the door. Naomi said we could pray for her grand-dad, Patty. No specifics, but we said, "okay," and prayed after leaving the bank. Then, guess who we saw!The lady from the park! She was off her phone, now, and Linda stopped her, told the whole story, and then asked if she wanted prayer. She was excited to say, "Yes, for me and my boyfriend." So Linda prayed.
Then we went to the Thai Food place, where the owner said her family was suffering from the flooding in Thailand. At the end, Hugo and I offered prayer to Gao, and she said, "I'm Buddhist, so I don't know." So Hugo said, "Okay, I pray at home."
Just another day in the Discipleship Training School.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
My Year in Books
My Year in Books (Aug
2010 - August 2011)
Bridge to Terebithia
Peace Like a River
So Brave Young and Handsome
Harry Potter 1-7
Bread and Jam for Frances
Saint George and the Dragon
The Silmarillion
The Hobbit
From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
The Return of the King
Blue Like Jazz
The Children of Hurin
Monday, September 26, 2011
Can I?
Can I paint
the plants with the colors I choose?
Can I raise
trees to their full height?
If
strawberries came to fruit by my hands, would they be so sweet?
Can I stretch out my hands and tell
the tide to cease?
Can I make
the waves slow down or speed up?
If I
commanded them not to crash, would they obey my booming voice?
Can I catch
a fish with my bare hands?
Can I soar
over the sea with keen eyes and an open mouth?
If I reached for a fish, could I be successful enough to provide for my kids?
When the
clouds glide in, can I blow them away?
When the sun
breaks out, can I send it back?
If I tried to stop the rain, how many drops could I keep from hitting the ground?
When the earth rumbles, can I speak peace to it?
When the ground opens, can I cast a covering over it?
If the winds combine, can I deflect the twister from its path?
Who can do any of these things?
Who can speak "Do" and it does?
The Lord has the power! The Lord is his name!
When he speaks his love for me every day, can I stop up my ears?
When he throws his love at me, can I move aside and avoid it?
If the God of the world declares an infinite intimacy for me,
could I ignore it?
Not I, but he.
Only he.
And I cannot ignore it.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Circular Thinking
After three flights of stairs we entered Timothy's office. The five of us sat down in his small seating area and gladly gave him the respect he was due. As a gentle, experienced missionary in a very hard place, it was a privilege to spend time with him.
We each sat with slight smiles and focused faces and asked questions. "How long have you been here?" "Is it hard having an HIV/AIDS ministry?" "What is it like living here?" He quietly answered our questions with exceptional English and revealed that he had a partner who began the ministry with him, and this man had passed away.
Quietly, I asked a direct question: "When did he pass away?"
"We started working together 14 years ago," he began. "After we met..." The story continued for a quarter of an hour, as Timothy shared their history as partners, how they served God together, and how the man eventually became very sick. He ended the story, "He died seven years ago."
Leaving Timothy in his office, I had forgotten I asked the question that spurred that narrative. But when the meeting was over and we descended the stairs, one of the girls excitedly pointed out what we'd learned about Circular Thinking - a mindset prevalent in Asia where an indirect answer can be given out of respect or other reasons - and how our host used that when I asked about his partner's death.
I was strongly impacted on how important it was for Timothy to tell the whole story of his partner. Because of how much he meant to him, he had to give the big picture; to list his partner's service and sacrifice for the gospel, even to death. My blunt question was gently answered in an inspiring missionary biography that left me surprisingly refreshed.
We each sat with slight smiles and focused faces and asked questions. "How long have you been here?" "Is it hard having an HIV/AIDS ministry?" "What is it like living here?" He quietly answered our questions with exceptional English and revealed that he had a partner who began the ministry with him, and this man had passed away.
Quietly, I asked a direct question: "When did he pass away?"
"We started working together 14 years ago," he began. "After we met..." The story continued for a quarter of an hour, as Timothy shared their history as partners, how they served God together, and how the man eventually became very sick. He ended the story, "He died seven years ago."
Leaving Timothy in his office, I had forgotten I asked the question that spurred that narrative. But when the meeting was over and we descended the stairs, one of the girls excitedly pointed out what we'd learned about Circular Thinking - a mindset prevalent in Asia where an indirect answer can be given out of respect or other reasons - and how our host used that when I asked about his partner's death.
I was strongly impacted on how important it was for Timothy to tell the whole story of his partner. Because of how much he meant to him, he had to give the big picture; to list his partner's service and sacrifice for the gospel, even to death. My blunt question was gently answered in an inspiring missionary biography that left me surprisingly refreshed.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
"I'm Rich!" (A short story)
"9 bucks? What can I do with this?" He checked his pocket again. Nothing more. He checked his other pockets... No miracles in there, either.
His hats weren't hot on the market - he had no hits. His persistent peddling wasn't providing pennies and his caps couldn't collect coins. It was killing him.
"God, if you wanna drop some cash from the sky, now's a good time. I could really use it." He pushed his cart uphill, wondering how on earth he could pay his rent in a couple weeks with what he was making.
212 steps to the brown apartments, 403 to the nicer, beige apartments, and 694 steps to the residential neighborhood where some older folks occasionally bought a hat or two for their grandchildren. The salesman was glad he never saw those kids' disappointed faces, for his products were in adequate shape at best. After a swing by the convenience store, it was back around again, walking his routes, rarely leaving those blocks.
"You know, God... I believe you provide. I believe you're with me now. But come on. I need money! I dropped my problems on you and you dealt with them. It's been 5 years since I took that plunge underwater, guided by the preacher, when you spoke to me that day, 'You're mine, now and forever.' I've only been in jail once in 5 years, but the whole time I've been freer than I've felt since I was a kid."
A nice car drove by, driven by a normal looking guy. In the passenger seat sat a beautiful blonde with a silent grin on her face. For some unknown reason, he was filled with frustration and anger. He scowled at the car, "It sucks being poor. It sucks being alone. No one gives a shit about me, here on the street, trying to get by, honestly." He knew that selling hats was honest, but sometimes he had to convince himself.
It was just then he saw Joe's house and the car in front of it. Something about the car was the nudge over the edge. "If I'm gonna make it this month, I need some cash," he thought. "It's time to start collecting what's mine." He left his route, approached a duplex, left his cart by some lawn chairs and knocked on the scratchy door. "Joe? Come on out!" Joe, a shirtless man with a big, round nose, emerged. "Hey man, I don't want impose or anything, but you remember that twenty bucks?" Joe remembered. "Well I need that back, and soon. Can you do that?" He could. "Hey Joe... are those new rims?" They were. "Figured. I'll come by for a visit in a few days, if that's alright." It was.
It was time for bed. After a forgettable sleep, the peddler did his morning routine and set back on the road with his wheeled burden. He felt a little bad about approaching Joe like he had, but sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands. He thought about praying. Mornings were a bit sunnier when he prayed, it seemed. He saw some nicely dressed people walking down the street, and then some more. Church. They were going to church. It was Sunday. A thought struck him and after a momentary battle, he surprisingly made up his mind. He parked his cart behind the church by their dumpster and a fence.
Inside, he was confronted with bright faces that smiled at him. He didn't recognize a single song, but everybody seemed so happy it didn't bother him. "What are they gonna play that I know, anyway? A Pearl Jam song?" He sat in the back and soaked it in. Words rang through his ears, "Saved," "Heaven," "Jesus," "Resurrection." It felt like his gas tank was filling up. It got even stranger and stronger. His eyes and nose got wet. His chest was tight. "More than emotions," he thought in the back of his head. He'd felt this before - he felt touched... and happy! Trying to put words to this experience, all that came out was, "I feel so rich!"
A quick second later a rock-slide of convicting thought crashed into his mind; "I felt so poor, but I didn't need to! I've got no money, but I'm no pauper. I'm rich! I have so much, so much... Thank you."
On his way home, past the convenience store, he crossed paths with Kathy. He smiled and nodded at her, and she skipped towards him. "Hey there, I've got that money for ya. You don't remember? You lent me 30 bucks for my rent. It was like, 3 months ago. Well here ya go; I'm a man of my word. Ha!" Not two minutes later George clapped his hands and ran towards the cart. "Hey baldy, I've got your cash! Thanks for those hats, man, I was in a real pinch. But my girl loved 'em! Take it easy." Further up the block, he was speechless and now without a smile; lips slightly parted and eyes blank. Of all people, Joe showed up.
"Hey Jim! Here's that 20. Sorry it was late. I'll buy a couple hats as interest, huh? Alright, see ya man. You're gonna make it - we're all in this together. Peace."
His hats weren't hot on the market - he had no hits. His persistent peddling wasn't providing pennies and his caps couldn't collect coins. It was killing him.
"God, if you wanna drop some cash from the sky, now's a good time. I could really use it." He pushed his cart uphill, wondering how on earth he could pay his rent in a couple weeks with what he was making.
212 steps to the brown apartments, 403 to the nicer, beige apartments, and 694 steps to the residential neighborhood where some older folks occasionally bought a hat or two for their grandchildren. The salesman was glad he never saw those kids' disappointed faces, for his products were in adequate shape at best. After a swing by the convenience store, it was back around again, walking his routes, rarely leaving those blocks.
"You know, God... I believe you provide. I believe you're with me now. But come on. I need money! I dropped my problems on you and you dealt with them. It's been 5 years since I took that plunge underwater, guided by the preacher, when you spoke to me that day, 'You're mine, now and forever.' I've only been in jail once in 5 years, but the whole time I've been freer than I've felt since I was a kid."
A nice car drove by, driven by a normal looking guy. In the passenger seat sat a beautiful blonde with a silent grin on her face. For some unknown reason, he was filled with frustration and anger. He scowled at the car, "It sucks being poor. It sucks being alone. No one gives a shit about me, here on the street, trying to get by, honestly." He knew that selling hats was honest, but sometimes he had to convince himself.
It was just then he saw Joe's house and the car in front of it. Something about the car was the nudge over the edge. "If I'm gonna make it this month, I need some cash," he thought. "It's time to start collecting what's mine." He left his route, approached a duplex, left his cart by some lawn chairs and knocked on the scratchy door. "Joe? Come on out!" Joe, a shirtless man with a big, round nose, emerged. "Hey man, I don't want impose or anything, but you remember that twenty bucks?" Joe remembered. "Well I need that back, and soon. Can you do that?" He could. "Hey Joe... are those new rims?" They were. "Figured. I'll come by for a visit in a few days, if that's alright." It was.
It was time for bed. After a forgettable sleep, the peddler did his morning routine and set back on the road with his wheeled burden. He felt a little bad about approaching Joe like he had, but sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands. He thought about praying. Mornings were a bit sunnier when he prayed, it seemed. He saw some nicely dressed people walking down the street, and then some more. Church. They were going to church. It was Sunday. A thought struck him and after a momentary battle, he surprisingly made up his mind. He parked his cart behind the church by their dumpster and a fence.
Inside, he was confronted with bright faces that smiled at him. He didn't recognize a single song, but everybody seemed so happy it didn't bother him. "What are they gonna play that I know, anyway? A Pearl Jam song?" He sat in the back and soaked it in. Words rang through his ears, "Saved," "Heaven," "Jesus," "Resurrection." It felt like his gas tank was filling up. It got even stranger and stronger. His eyes and nose got wet. His chest was tight. "More than emotions," he thought in the back of his head. He'd felt this before - he felt touched... and happy! Trying to put words to this experience, all that came out was, "I feel so rich!"
A quick second later a rock-slide of convicting thought crashed into his mind; "I felt so poor, but I didn't need to! I've got no money, but I'm no pauper. I'm rich! I have so much, so much... Thank you."
On his way home, past the convenience store, he crossed paths with Kathy. He smiled and nodded at her, and she skipped towards him. "Hey there, I've got that money for ya. You don't remember? You lent me 30 bucks for my rent. It was like, 3 months ago. Well here ya go; I'm a man of my word. Ha!" Not two minutes later George clapped his hands and ran towards the cart. "Hey baldy, I've got your cash! Thanks for those hats, man, I was in a real pinch. But my girl loved 'em! Take it easy." Further up the block, he was speechless and now without a smile; lips slightly parted and eyes blank. Of all people, Joe showed up.
"Hey Jim! Here's that 20. Sorry it was late. I'll buy a couple hats as interest, huh? Alright, see ya man. You're gonna make it - we're all in this together. Peace."
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Changes, Changes, Oh My!
I've just decided to move to Vancouver for 6 months!
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Our Discipleship Training School was cancelled again, and since I came on staff with Youth With A Mission in order to staff DTS and have yet to, I accepted the invitation from my friends at YWAM NEXIA in Vancouver, who need male staff. I'm leaving my foothills home on Friday and getting into the Greyhound station in cool Vancouver some 15 hours later.
This is a big change, especially since I've gotten pretty comfortable here, living in Turner Valley for the last two years. But I'm appreciating that God is uprooting me, bringing an opportunity to disciple others, so I can finally GIVE what I've been TAKING - knowledge, discipline, joy, love for Jesus and the Bible. (That's why I named this blog Give and Take some 12 months ago.)
My full-time job will be pastoral care, to help guide students as they learn about themselves and about God in the classroom and later, too, as they learn practically in the mission trip phase (which will be to either Malaysia or Thailand). Some practical things my job consists of would be: reviewing DTS journals, book reports, regular one-on-one meetings with some of the guys, and outreach preparations.
I'm sad to leave my friends and my home, but excited for this next chapter. After these 6 months, I plan on returning to Turner Valley for 6 months to finish out my commitment and my time with YWAM.
Vancouver is a more expensive place to live, and I am dependent on relationship-based support from my church, family, and friends. If you're interested in supporting me financially (which I am in need of) you can donate, either as a one-time donation or as regular monthly support, in one of several ways:**
If you would like a tax receipt and are in America, please send your donation to:
**If you want a tax receipt, you must not put my name on the check itself (write checks out to YWAM), and instead include a note saying “For James Harrison.”
View Larger Map
Our Discipleship Training School was cancelled again, and since I came on staff with Youth With A Mission in order to staff DTS and have yet to, I accepted the invitation from my friends at YWAM NEXIA in Vancouver, who need male staff. I'm leaving my foothills home on Friday and getting into the Greyhound station in cool Vancouver some 15 hours later.
This is a big change, especially since I've gotten pretty comfortable here, living in Turner Valley for the last two years. But I'm appreciating that God is uprooting me, bringing an opportunity to disciple others, so I can finally GIVE what I've been TAKING - knowledge, discipline, joy, love for Jesus and the Bible. (That's why I named this blog Give and Take some 12 months ago.)
 | |
| My friend Neil and I at Lake Louise in Banff Nat'l Park in the Canadian Rockies |
My full-time job will be pastoral care, to help guide students as they learn about themselves and about God in the classroom and later, too, as they learn practically in the mission trip phase (which will be to either Malaysia or Thailand). Some practical things my job consists of would be: reviewing DTS journals, book reports, regular one-on-one meetings with some of the guys, and outreach preparations.
I'm sad to leave my friends and my home, but excited for this next chapter. After these 6 months, I plan on returning to Turner Valley for 6 months to finish out my commitment and my time with YWAM.
Vancouver is a more expensive place to live, and I am dependent on relationship-based support from my church, family, and friends. If you're interested in supporting me financially (which I am in need of) you can donate, either as a one-time donation or as regular monthly support, in one of several ways:**
If you would like a tax receipt and are in America, please send your donation to:
YWAM
PO Box 3000,
Garden Valley, TX, 75771-3000
If you would like a tax receipt and are in Canada, please send your donation to:
Project Funding
PO Box 57100 Vancouver, BC
V5K 1Z0
If you don't need a tax receipt and live anywhere in the world, you can send through Paypal (even if you don't have a Paypal account!) Simply go HERE, and send it tojamesthellama@hotmail.com
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Boyhood
I tapped my feet in the car. The air conditioner was a bit too cold, but I hadn't worked up the courage to say anything yet. I had a terrible night of sleep, being afraid I'd sleep through the alarm and miss this special day.
I was a boy, on a little adventure not too far from where I lived. I was with a man, my father's age. It was Christmas morning in August as he spent the whole day with me, asking questions, telling stories, and laughing!
I felt so special since he took a day to show me around places I had never seen and brought me lunch and bought me McDonald's and asked me questions and told me stories and it was just me and him.
"Let's act cool and be excited today!" I told myself, not wanting to look nervous or awkward.
We drove for a couple hours. I love the mountains. So full of life, they're so big they make you feel small and human, like you're not the boss anymore, but just an ant crawling by, unable to imagine what that mountain has seen and heard, felt and smelt in the last thousand years.
I kind of felt like that around my driver. A big man with large hands; much wider than mine, if not a hair shorter. I was young and small.
We trekked around several breathtaking lakes, took our swimsuits to the hot springs, and took the longer, scenic route home for the beautiful sights. He wasn't angry or worried that I slept through the best part, the reason he spent the extra gas, simply letting me sleep.
I was a boy for a day, feeling loved and accepted, as though someone enjoyed my company. I was 21 and this special day was today. The driver was a man from church, desiring to spend a day discipling me. The planner was Jesus, hoping to reconcile in me the incomplete Boyhood stage in my heart. I am a beloved and precious child.
Only now can I press on, hiking further up the difficult and wild, but worn and mapped out trail of becoming a man.
I was a boy, on a little adventure not too far from where I lived. I was with a man, my father's age. It was Christmas morning in August as he spent the whole day with me, asking questions, telling stories, and laughing!
I felt so special since he took a day to show me around places I had never seen and brought me lunch and bought me McDonald's and asked me questions and told me stories and it was just me and him.
"Let's act cool and be excited today!" I told myself, not wanting to look nervous or awkward.
We drove for a couple hours. I love the mountains. So full of life, they're so big they make you feel small and human, like you're not the boss anymore, but just an ant crawling by, unable to imagine what that mountain has seen and heard, felt and smelt in the last thousand years.
I kind of felt like that around my driver. A big man with large hands; much wider than mine, if not a hair shorter. I was young and small.
We trekked around several breathtaking lakes, took our swimsuits to the hot springs, and took the longer, scenic route home for the beautiful sights. He wasn't angry or worried that I slept through the best part, the reason he spent the extra gas, simply letting me sleep.
I was a boy for a day, feeling loved and accepted, as though someone enjoyed my company. I was 21 and this special day was today. The driver was a man from church, desiring to spend a day discipling me. The planner was Jesus, hoping to reconcile in me the incomplete Boyhood stage in my heart. I am a beloved and precious child.
Only now can I press on, hiking further up the difficult and wild, but worn and mapped out trail of becoming a man.
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Grace, again
I've been in a slump, days have been long, these last 8 days have felt like a month of grief.
The cause? A sprained heart, a case of guilt, and a lack of discipline in spending time with God.
The solution? For the last couple days, the only answer I've thought of is more discipline; I need to spend more time with God. I need to read the Bible, set aside time to pray and journal.
Though these are great things and disciplines that help transform me, hearing the words of a friend in a song, "You're free, you're free, it costs so much but blind men receive their sight - the night shines brighter, above our scorched horizons, and Christ, Christ, firstborn of many brothers, run-run and tell the others that it's never been any other way," has again delivered me! What is it that I MUST do to remain in God's grace, to be washed clean, to have his favor and be his precious son? Haha, open my hands and accept it! Believe it!
As I wrote this, I left my little room to catch what was left of the sunset. Glancing up at the last streaky-purple cloud I blew my nose and cleared my throat of all that remained, and breathed again the heavens' fruit through open airways. The Tree of Grace that refuses not one its manufactured miracles.
The cause? A sprained heart, a case of guilt, and a lack of discipline in spending time with God.
The solution? For the last couple days, the only answer I've thought of is more discipline; I need to spend more time with God. I need to read the Bible, set aside time to pray and journal.
Though these are great things and disciplines that help transform me, hearing the words of a friend in a song, "You're free, you're free, it costs so much but blind men receive their sight - the night shines brighter, above our scorched horizons, and Christ, Christ, firstborn of many brothers, run-run and tell the others that it's never been any other way," has again delivered me! What is it that I MUST do to remain in God's grace, to be washed clean, to have his favor and be his precious son? Haha, open my hands and accept it! Believe it!
As I wrote this, I left my little room to catch what was left of the sunset. Glancing up at the last streaky-purple cloud I blew my nose and cleared my throat of all that remained, and breathed again the heavens' fruit through open airways. The Tree of Grace that refuses not one its manufactured miracles.
Friday, July 15, 2011
Lord of the Rings thoughts
These are a few Lord of the Rings reflections. This will probably only interest a couple of you, if that, and was written with Chris Whitler in mind mostly, and will probably only interest him. It was also to jot my thoughts down after just finishing The Lord of the Rings again (2nd time - the first was in 8th grade). If you have not read the trilogy, DO NOT READ THIS.
There is the constant feeling that along with the Hobbits, you're merely tapping into deep, deep history - an old, old world that has seen, heard, and felt many things over countless years. You especially feel the weight of it, for example, when Gandalf (whose time on Middle-Earth was just the Third Age) introduces Theoden (the kind, old King of Rohan) to Treebeard, the aged Talking Tree: "You are about to meet the oldest living thing that still walks." (Two Towers, p. 72). Elrond is another link to the ancient past; the son of Earendil, the elf who sails over the earth in his ship with a silmaril on his brow... his father, by the power of the Valar in the West, became a star!! His brother Elros founded Numenor, the great kingdom of men, and Elrond lived in a time after Morgoth was overthrown but before Sauron forged the One Ring. The list goes on: Galadriel, who crossed over the sea from Valinor with her kinsmen the Noldor in the First Age; and Tom Bombadil, a walking fairy tale whose essence can be anything from an ancient elf, perhaps of the first created in Middle-Earth, by name one of the Moriquendi who never crossed into Valinor, to maybe a lesser Power - a Maia bound to the Earth, who isolated himself but held on to his powers, and whose tale, no doubt long, so long, could only be wildly guessed.
A very stirring element of Middle-Earth, that runs deeper than just the symbolism of white vs. black: the absolute significance of light, as opposed to dark: Shown very clearly in The Silmarillion, light is a key aspect of Good in Tolkien's writings. Like mosquitoes in a bog, evil thrives off of dark, where its works go felt but unseen. And so Evil cowers from light out of fear that its acts are indeed seen, for the light reveals the world, inherently good and alive, opening up around them, surrounded by endless eyes. But Good basks in light, is not hurt by it but is encouraged, is enlivened by it and loves it. Light is a weapon: Gandalf uses light from his staff to reject the Nazgul in front of the walls of Minas Tirith, to put fear into the hearts of the siege-company of Helm's Deep, and Frodo and Sam discover the life-saving attributes of the Light of Galadriel, a treasure whose ancient source is the aforementioned Star of Earendil, that battled against Shelob the spider, descendant of Ungoliant, partner of Morgoth in the molesting of the Trees of Valinor - the lights of the world whose glories would only be later hinted at by the creation of the Sun and Moon.
Theoden again provides us a great example as he leads the Rohirrim to the help of Gondor: "Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a god of old, even as Orome the Great in the battle of the Valar when the world was young. His golden shield was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and the grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and the darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City." (RK, 138).
The third thing that stood out to me was the love for leaders which birthed obedience, courage, and self-sacrifice. The band of Dunedain, Legolas and Gimli, and Eomer all said they loved Aragorn, their King.
Sam loved Frodo, and this is why:
"Where are you going, Master?" cried Sam, though at last he understood what was happening.
"To the Havens, Sam," said Frodo.
"And I can't come,"
"No, Sam. Not yet anyway, not further than the Havens. Though you too were a Ring-hearer, if only for a little while. Your time may come. Do not be too sad, Sam. You cannot be always torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do."
"But," said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, "I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done."
"So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them...
"You will be the Mayor, of course, as long as you want to be, and the most famous gardener in history; and you will read things out of the Red Book, and keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more. And that will keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, as long as your part of the Story goes on."
If you've made it this far, you're a trooper. Thanks for reading.
There is the constant feeling that along with the Hobbits, you're merely tapping into deep, deep history - an old, old world that has seen, heard, and felt many things over countless years. You especially feel the weight of it, for example, when Gandalf (whose time on Middle-Earth was just the Third Age) introduces Theoden (the kind, old King of Rohan) to Treebeard, the aged Talking Tree: "You are about to meet the oldest living thing that still walks." (Two Towers, p. 72). Elrond is another link to the ancient past; the son of Earendil, the elf who sails over the earth in his ship with a silmaril on his brow... his father, by the power of the Valar in the West, became a star!! His brother Elros founded Numenor, the great kingdom of men, and Elrond lived in a time after Morgoth was overthrown but before Sauron forged the One Ring. The list goes on: Galadriel, who crossed over the sea from Valinor with her kinsmen the Noldor in the First Age; and Tom Bombadil, a walking fairy tale whose essence can be anything from an ancient elf, perhaps of the first created in Middle-Earth, by name one of the Moriquendi who never crossed into Valinor, to maybe a lesser Power - a Maia bound to the Earth, who isolated himself but held on to his powers, and whose tale, no doubt long, so long, could only be wildly guessed.
A very stirring element of Middle-Earth, that runs deeper than just the symbolism of white vs. black: the absolute significance of light, as opposed to dark: Shown very clearly in The Silmarillion, light is a key aspect of Good in Tolkien's writings. Like mosquitoes in a bog, evil thrives off of dark, where its works go felt but unseen. And so Evil cowers from light out of fear that its acts are indeed seen, for the light reveals the world, inherently good and alive, opening up around them, surrounded by endless eyes. But Good basks in light, is not hurt by it but is encouraged, is enlivened by it and loves it. Light is a weapon: Gandalf uses light from his staff to reject the Nazgul in front of the walls of Minas Tirith, to put fear into the hearts of the siege-company of Helm's Deep, and Frodo and Sam discover the life-saving attributes of the Light of Galadriel, a treasure whose ancient source is the aforementioned Star of Earendil, that battled against Shelob the spider, descendant of Ungoliant, partner of Morgoth in the molesting of the Trees of Valinor - the lights of the world whose glories would only be later hinted at by the creation of the Sun and Moon.
Theoden again provides us a great example as he leads the Rohirrim to the help of Gondor: "Fey he seemed, or the battle-fury of his fathers ran like new fire in his veins, and he was borne up on Snowmane like a god of old, even as Orome the Great in the battle of the Valar when the world was young. His golden shield was uncovered, and lo! it shone like an image of the Sun, and the grass flamed into green about the white feet of his steed. For morning came, morning and a wind from the sea; and the darkness was removed, and the hosts of Mordor wailed, and terror took them, and they fled, and died, and the hoofs of wrath rode over them. And then all the host of Rohan burst into song, and they sang as they slew, for the joy of battle was on them, and the sound of their singing that was fair and terrible came even to the City." (RK, 138).
The third thing that stood out to me was the love for leaders which birthed obedience, courage, and self-sacrifice. The band of Dunedain, Legolas and Gimli, and Eomer all said they loved Aragorn, their King.
Sam loved Frodo, and this is why:
"Where are you going, Master?" cried Sam, though at last he understood what was happening.
"To the Havens, Sam," said Frodo.
"And I can't come,"
"No, Sam. Not yet anyway, not further than the Havens. Though you too were a Ring-hearer, if only for a little while. Your time may come. Do not be too sad, Sam. You cannot be always torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be, and to do."
"But," said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, "I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done."
"So I thought too, once. But I have been too deeply hurt, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them...
"You will be the Mayor, of course, as long as you want to be, and the most famous gardener in history; and you will read things out of the Red Book, and keep alive the memory of the age that is gone, so that people will remember the Great Danger and so love their beloved land all the more. And that will keep you as busy and as happy as anyone can be, as long as your part of the Story goes on."
If you've made it this far, you're a trooper. Thanks for reading.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Who else?
From who else do I come to tears just knowing they're listening?
From who else do I melt away, knowing I'm their friend?
From who else do I rejoice just hearing from them?
Who listens to me
Who befriends me
Who speaks to me like you?
None, I say.
No one like you, not a single one.
None.
It is you who destroys me with a wink
It is you who thrashes me with whispers
It is you who flattens me with one melodic note.
You're a drop of golden honey - I'm a bland cup of tea
You're a waterfall of buttery syrup - I'm a stale waffle
You're a pinch of salt - I'm a listless pork chop.
The saying is old but it's true
It's been tested through and through
Complete me, you do
Who else but Jesus?
From who else do I melt away, knowing I'm their friend?
From who else do I rejoice just hearing from them?
Who listens to me
Who befriends me
Who speaks to me like you?
None, I say.
No one like you, not a single one.
None.
It is you who destroys me with a wink
It is you who thrashes me with whispers
It is you who flattens me with one melodic note.
You're a drop of golden honey - I'm a bland cup of tea
You're a waterfall of buttery syrup - I'm a stale waffle
You're a pinch of salt - I'm a listless pork chop.
The saying is old but it's true
It's been tested through and through
Complete me, you do
Who else but Jesus?
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Blameless
Friendless I lay at the bottom of the sea
Shipwrecked I drowned, two days now three
No more to think, no more to see
Any sign of life or the color green
Down here it's gray and everthing's dull
Nothing escapes the water's strong pull
Now thanks to me this pit is full
Trapped forever in my ship's hull
Now and again a ray of light
Pierces the darkness from some great height
And for a moment, filled with delight
Until Alas! again it's night
But then at last one day I saw
The sun that rises with the dawn
And looking up I stared in awe
A man descended, life withdrawn
With me to dwell was why he came
There in his eyes I saw my shame
But there too lived a wild flame
Burning up every trace of blame
Up, up we go above the sea
That vast blue prison fades from me
Into that true Land of the Free
Together forever, we will be
Best friends for all eternity
Shipwrecked I drowned, two days now three
No more to think, no more to see
Any sign of life or the color green
Down here it's gray and everthing's dull
Nothing escapes the water's strong pull
Now thanks to me this pit is full
Trapped forever in my ship's hull
Now and again a ray of light
Pierces the darkness from some great height
And for a moment, filled with delight
Until Alas! again it's night
But then at last one day I saw
The sun that rises with the dawn
And looking up I stared in awe
A man descended, life withdrawn
With me to dwell was why he came
There in his eyes I saw my shame
But there too lived a wild flame
Burning up every trace of blame
Up, up we go above the sea
That vast blue prison fades from me
Into that true Land of the Free
Together forever, we will be
Best friends for all eternity
Friday, May 13, 2011
May News(letter)
Here's my life right now; take a quick look.
Any questions? E-mail me at jamesthellama@hotmail.com
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Not Showering for a Day - A Diary
Not Showering for a Day
A Diary
8:00 The first thing I realized was that my hair looked much like it did the night before and I needed very little gel to give it its structure back.
10:00 Everything smells a bit worse.
11:30 If I rub my forehead, little Play-Doh rolls of dirt and sticky grime collect – probably the excess gel and dirt from the day before.
11:35 It’s like I can feel every pore on my face…
3:10 Steph moves to other side of office.
3:42 My nose feels different. It’s like it’s heavier… with dirt.
5:00 So tired… I think the B.O. is attacking my immune system
6:30 Worried about watching a movie with others because of my foot odor… should have changed out from my Crocs
11:30 As I lay in bed to sleep, my elbows are sticky when I bend them and, utterly ashamed and defeated, I can't wait until the morning when I can shower.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Warm and Cool
There are two winds blowing. They cannot have conflict with each other, yet seem impossible to coexist.
The warm wind is that Christians can and should always freely accept the free gift of grace. It's Christmas and we must open the blinds and the window and smell the sweet sense of freshness, then tear off the gift-wrapping with great tenacity, with a wide grin, and always in the lit room.
The cool wind is that Christians should not sin; we have been given new robes of righteousness to replace the dead, sinful flesh that we, if we were willing, surely shed. Though we drag around the dead flesh, hoping to give it a little life back and pounce on instant pleasure opportunities, it is not our identity. We fight it, and we should. Sin is a removed tattoo, though we drool over the old pictures at times, sometimes acting just like we did when we had that nasty tat.
How on earth do these winds work together? How can I be passionately opposed to sin and still accept the grace given me?
The answer is not moderation.
There is no compromise.
The answer is that God is God of the impossible. So, warm meets cool and they harmonize. First comes one, then the other. You jump headstrong into the cool, knowing God is there, and knowing the warm embrace is always there for the taking.
The warm wind is that Christians can and should always freely accept the free gift of grace. It's Christmas and we must open the blinds and the window and smell the sweet sense of freshness, then tear off the gift-wrapping with great tenacity, with a wide grin, and always in the lit room.
The cool wind is that Christians should not sin; we have been given new robes of righteousness to replace the dead, sinful flesh that we, if we were willing, surely shed. Though we drag around the dead flesh, hoping to give it a little life back and pounce on instant pleasure opportunities, it is not our identity. We fight it, and we should. Sin is a removed tattoo, though we drool over the old pictures at times, sometimes acting just like we did when we had that nasty tat.
How on earth do these winds work together? How can I be passionately opposed to sin and still accept the grace given me?
The answer is not moderation.
There is no compromise.
The answer is that God is God of the impossible. So, warm meets cool and they harmonize. First comes one, then the other. You jump headstrong into the cool, knowing God is there, and knowing the warm embrace is always there for the taking.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
So bright it hurts
God, you are so good
Your steadfast love endures forever
You love everyone - even though you can read our minds
You never leave us
You hide, but you're still there
Or here, rather. Right here in my spirit
Your Holy Spirit dwells in my rotten spirit
But you make it clean - white as snow!
Snow - it's so white and clean on its own
When the sun shines on it, it's brighter than anything
So bright it hurts to look at
Your steadfast love endures forever
You love everyone - even though you can read our minds
You never leave us
You hide, but you're still there
Or here, rather. Right here in my spirit
Your Holy Spirit dwells in my rotten spirit
But you make it clean - white as snow!
Snow - it's so white and clean on its own
When the sun shines on it, it's brighter than anything
So bright it hurts to look at
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Love Learned
He stared. He stared and he thought, although the thoughts instead were pictures that were words. Word-Pictures. Words with increasing despair, like "Ouch, "Unh," and "Unhhgh." They were the result of his feelings... Feelings - they'll make you or break you, save you or kill you, lead you to love or to hate. Right now they were killing him, breeding sounds best expressed as "Unhhgh."
The worst part, if that could possibly be defined, was the duration of these feelings. Hour after hour, minute after minute his stomach twisted and constricted and his tears escaped from the pit of his gut. The gut - first think of the place that shouts when you're hungry; it's the area inside and all around that. Realizing that these suffocating feelings were to continue made him gasp for air.
Days past and the "Unhhgh" dissolved into "Unh," then to "Ouch," and eventually faded away into the occasional "Mmmh." He was grateful for this, but being an optimist, he heartily believed there was something else to be profited.
What he did learn was this: there is a place within him, within the pit of his gut, from which came drive and movement. Intensity of compassion. This event shook him up! It rattled him deep down, smashing the frozen waterfall, freeing its source. He heartily delighted in this discovery of a new fountain from which things could escape. Sadness and anger, emotion.
Not just emotion, but Love. Love of all sorts! If anything ought to be drawn out of this well of fire that is the gut, it should be love. How? Who knows. But he's been content with this revelation. Love from the gut, that black hole of pain transformed into a fountain of kindness and humility! This he could settle for, and his little optimistic brain was satisfied.
The worst part, if that could possibly be defined, was the duration of these feelings. Hour after hour, minute after minute his stomach twisted and constricted and his tears escaped from the pit of his gut. The gut - first think of the place that shouts when you're hungry; it's the area inside and all around that. Realizing that these suffocating feelings were to continue made him gasp for air.
Days past and the "Unhhgh" dissolved into "Unh," then to "Ouch," and eventually faded away into the occasional "Mmmh." He was grateful for this, but being an optimist, he heartily believed there was something else to be profited.
What he did learn was this: there is a place within him, within the pit of his gut, from which came drive and movement. Intensity of compassion. This event shook him up! It rattled him deep down, smashing the frozen waterfall, freeing its source. He heartily delighted in this discovery of a new fountain from which things could escape. Sadness and anger, emotion.
Not just emotion, but Love. Love of all sorts! If anything ought to be drawn out of this well of fire that is the gut, it should be love. How? Who knows. But he's been content with this revelation. Love from the gut, that black hole of pain transformed into a fountain of kindness and humility! This he could settle for, and his little optimistic brain was satisfied.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
A good day
I had an awesome day! It started with an awesome, unique worship time. We were sent away to, instead of the regular music worship, thank God seriously for what he's doing or done this week. I couldn't process the week, but I had an amazing time nonetheless.
I sat in my recliner with my curtain open, window cracked, Psalms laid out, and the sun shining on me. The cool breeze swirled around me and a nostalgic peace overwhelmed my mind and soul, and I forgot all about worry and fear.
An unforgettable morning!
We have a good God.
I sat in my recliner with my curtain open, window cracked, Psalms laid out, and the sun shining on me. The cool breeze swirled around me and a nostalgic peace overwhelmed my mind and soul, and I forgot all about worry and fear.
An unforgettable morning!
We have a good God.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Happenings
At a church in Kelowna, Daniel and I talked to Dave. He had a lot of problems and took some time to share them. Daniel said one thing, I said one thing, Daniel prayed one thing and I prayed one thing. This post isn't about what Dave said, or even what Daniel and I said. That's a simple story enough - the man wasn't employing the name of Jesus, he was employing himself based on how righteous he thought he was. We told him to use Jesus' name, which is to use Jesus himself to expel the enemy. We hit it right on the nail.
What I'm rejoicing about is God's divine appointments. I'm not sure we impacted anyone with the opportunities that YWAM offers, and we may not even have inspired anyone in that church to do missions. But we did free a wandering soul, at least for a while, from fear and trembling before an already-defeated villain.
God, thank you for arranging all we do, and using us.
Also, I prayed for blueberry syrup and you gave it to me, complete with pancakes and orange juice.
So thank you again.
Friends, God protects and provides.
What I'm rejoicing about is God's divine appointments. I'm not sure we impacted anyone with the opportunities that YWAM offers, and we may not even have inspired anyone in that church to do missions. But we did free a wandering soul, at least for a while, from fear and trembling before an already-defeated villain.
God, thank you for arranging all we do, and using us.
Also, I prayed for blueberry syrup and you gave it to me, complete with pancakes and orange juice.
So thank you again.
Friends, God protects and provides.
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